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Strength between the Sheets During Transition

  • Posted on 16-Feb-2007 07:48:05

    by Nancy Fagan-Murphy, M.S.,

    Maintaining an intimate closeness with your partner takes work. This is especially true during life transitions that have demonstrated statistically higher rates of divorce-retirement and second marriages, among others.

    To ensure your marital bond stays strong, keeping the lines of communication open is a must. To make it happen, start by reserving nightly time together before you fall asleep to have talk time. You don't have to verbally arrange a time to talk-it's better to create a sort of bedtime ritual or habit of talking each night.

    Talk time isn't a time for serious discussions or conversation about hot-topic issues; it's more a time for relaxed, fun conversation to get to know each other better.

    The following are some good questions for you to ask your partner at talk time:

    • Tell me about your favorite pet when you were a child.
    • Who has been your best friend the longest?
    • What's a holiday tradition that you like/dislike?
    • When you are old, what will be the highlight of your life?
    • If you could be the creator of any invention throughout time, what would it be?
    • Tell me about your first day in high school.
    • What are your favorite smells of each season?
    As time goes by, you'll begin to notice something amazing-you and your partner will have become a united team working together to face life's challenges. Who'd ever guess that a little pillow talk could amount to something so strong?

    Nancy Fagan-Murphy, M.S., author of "The Complete Idiot`s Guide to Romance" and "Desirable Men: How to Find Them." To read more, visit